How To Write an Application Letter

Sa susunod na mga araw, daan-daang libo ang madadagdag sa hanay ng mga bagong college graduates. Maraming mga lumang jokes tungkol sa mga job applicants ang ating maririnig uli sa mga buwan ng Abril at Mayo. Kesyo may nag-apply daw na ang sinulat sa "school background" ay "mountains and rivers". Father's occupation -- Japanese; Age -- doesn't matter; Sex -- twice a week; Position desired -- secret.

     Ang quality ng education sa ating bansa ay isang malalim na balon ng jokes at ridicule. Ang sabi ng mga experts, ang mga eskwelahan natin ay nagiging "diploma mills" na kung saan ang habol ng mga estudyante ay makakuha lang ng diploma. Kulang ika sa kaalaman ang ating mga graduates at hindi qualified na mamasukan pagkatapos ng college.

     Ang tingin naman ng iba ay opposite. Ang problema raw ay ang mga gradutes natin ay overqualified! Nakakabigla pero mukhang totoo. Kasi, 6 years sa elementary school, 4 years sa high school at 4 years sa college or 14 years total -- pero ang gagawin mo lang naman pala ay tatayo sa buong maghapon sa Shoemart bilang saleslady. Dagdagan mo pa ng dalawang taong masteral course para maging domestic helper sa ibang bansa. Dagdagan mo pa ng doctorate degree para maging distributor ng Amway at Forever Living, Gold Quest at Caretaker Health Insurance, Avon, Tupperware... Baka mas akma kung ang mga schools ay nag-o-offer na lang ng 64 units of Billiards, 24 units of Dishwashing, at three semesters ng Standing, Walking Around and Smiling.

     Ang kadalasang problema ng mga overqualified graduates ay ang pagsulat ng application letter, kaya baka makatulong, ito ang isang example na maaring gayahin ninyo. Remember, keep it short and simple. And be very, very convincing.

     "Dear Mr. President: I have heard that the position of Chief of Staff has just been left vacant recently. I would like to apply for the position and the housing that Mr. Laquian used to occupy.

     "I was a snake in my previous life so I cannot possibly be a snake charmer. I do not read the Inquirer and the Pinoy Times and do not believe in SWS or phone-in surveys. Even if most Filipinos are disappointed with your administration, I believe in your words only or only words.

     "I did very poorly in college, sir, and until now have great difficulty differentiating "dialect", "dialectics", and "dialysis". But I am good in Math, especially when it involves percentages of large sums of money.

     "I have no problems working long hours and I love red wine and blue. Like you, I am also not "under the saya". And I can play baccarat on- and off-camera. If you want Sir, I can leave my wife and children so that I can be as qualified as the new SEC chair Lilia Bautista who, in your words, "has no children and no spouse", hence "no problem".

     "Knowing how you resent your former Chief of Staff, I am confident that you will like not working with me. More power to you and the wife you love."

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